Mindful Journeys MFT is conveniently located in Manhattan NYC and provides individual therapy to support your mindful journey of healing and becoming.
“For warmth, I hold my face in my hands. No, I am not crying. I hold my face in my two hands to keep the loneliness warm. Two hands protecting, two hands nourishing, two hands preventing my soul for leaving me in anger.” – Thich Nhat Hahn
What is Anger?
People tend to shy away from anger due to the misconception that anger is unnatural, destructive, and dangerous. However, anger is actually a natural healthy emotion that serves to communicate to you in your body when you’re compromising yourself, when you are afraid, when needs are going unmet, or when your boundaries are being crossed. Anger is a neutral emotion, it is nor right or wrong, but if paid attention to, can help you better understand and advocate for yourself. You have a right to feeling your anger, it is HOW you cope with and MANAGE your anger that can be unhealthy, destructive, maladaptive, and self-sabotaging. Anger CAN be managed positively and people can learn self-control, compassion, and self-advocacy through learning to communicate with their anger.
Aggression, or the outward intimidating expression of anger, is typically learned. Some children develop in households where they witness domestic violence, and/or are bullied by their parents. These children grow into adults adapting to the violence, and in the future, exhibit the same learned coping skills of aggression.
How Anger Management Can Help You
In therapy, it can be helpful to explore unresolved past childhood wounding. A therapist can safely guide you into your inner world and explore the origins of anger. Have you experienced trauma or neglect as a child? How did you experience conflict resolution in your family growing up? Were you able to show emotions as a child or usually taught to withhold emotions, crying, shamed for being vulnerable, or forced to adhere to rigid gender roles?
The goal in anger management is not to lose your anger. The goal of anger management is to get in touch with your anger, connect with it, understand it, so that you may develop insight as to the messages anger is trying to convey to you. Maybe you are feeling overworked, unappreciated, or devalued. Perhaps you have endured childhood trauma or abandonment and feel residual anger and memories that haunt you. Perhaps you feel unseen or unheard in your relationships. Anger may be trying to inform you to practice more self care and loving kindness to your needs and wishes.If you allow resentment and other negative feelings to drive out positive feelings, you may find yourself engulfed in your own resentments.
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