Choosing Freedom to Connect to Self
…letting go of trauma, memories of unfairness, or people that have betrayed and hurt you in any way is one of the most difficult things to do. However, letting go does not mean they are exempt from accountability of their hurtful actions, or does not mean that they were right in their decisions, and it sure does mean you get to have your feelings, but only means that you will not dim your light for them anymore.
We call this Freedom. Freedom is a state of mind, not a consequence or privilege. You can be free in whatever troubles you face, no matter the circumstances, no matter who or what- because the mind is a powerful tool to our surviving, thriving, and growth. Allowing oneself to be free is surely one of the most difficult things to accomplish. We each have our inner gremlins/parts of ourselves that discourage us and pretend to be non-believers in our capabilities. We can be our own enemies. Much of these negative messages are cultivated in the False Self- the excuses and things we tell ourselves to stay prisoners to our own minds. The fences and guards we put up against others also encage us and we do not connect with our vulnerabilities and True Self. In the smaller picture, we may think we are doing ourselves justice by putting fences around others to protect us from future wounding, betrayal, and disappointments. However, the bigger picture tells us that when you look from above you will see You are the only person confined within these walls/self created barriers. The only person in life that can ever get in your way is you.
Freedom is a choice. Choosing freedom is claiming your life and power over it. Claiming your life, or choosing freedom, is an ongoing daily process. Freedom, power, and love are all vital in life’s journey. The Essence seeks freedom of self-limitations, which results in feelings of empowerment and love for self and others.
Give yourself sometime for introspection to understand where you are with freedom. Inner analysis is important to facilitate choice. The ability to choose is empowering. Where in your life do you need to experience more inner freedom? Where in your life do you need to get out of your own way and live freely without judgment of self or guilt? Are you living in guilt or swayed by the wants and needs of others and not living freely? Do you feel afraid to stand up for yourself, and advocate for your wants and needs because a particular group, or your family won’t accept you? Do you believe in freedom, do you think you’re allowed to have freedom?
Look at your outside world as a reflection of your inner being. When we feel our outside world is chaotic, our inside world is most likely enduring major chaos. Balancing our outside world means stabilizing our inside world. We cannot control the thoughts and behaviors of others, but we sure can control the manner in which we react or respond, the way we deal with others, cope with conflicts, and how we keep grounded. There will always be obstacles in life that will attempt to deter you off course. When you meet those challenges centered in your Essence, you find the conviction, discipline, and determination to stay on your path.
Surround yourself with others also choosing freedom and claiming their lives as their own. Let those who would hold you back fall away from your life as they naturally will. Choosing freedom and deliberation to living connected to your Essence, can be a lonely journey if surrounded by people who are unwilling to acknowledge other possibilities. When others attempt to hold you back or dissuade you from your evolution, it can be for a multitude of reasons. They may love you so much that they “only want the best for you”. However, their view of what is best may be limited and biased to what is “better” in their perspective, not yours. Maybe they’re afraid that you will change and they won’t know you or you won’t love them anymore (very common, especially during family life cycle transitions of leaving the nest or marriage). However, the limitation with this view is that the real you/ True self is not changing at all. As mentioned in part 1 of this entry last week, The True Self/ Essence is a constant: always was and will be (it existed before childhood experiences, trauma, negative experiences). Only the surface you/your personality/your priorities are changing and evolving. Your understanding and connection with self is growing, which may also elicit changes in behaviors and lifestyles, but the fundamental love you have for people does not change.
Some people may also try to sway you to conform because they feel threatened by your zeal to personal growth. They see too clearly they are stagnant, but don’t want anyone to challenge them to make changes in their own lives. It’s easier to leave things as they are and avoid rocking the boat, because life stays foreseeable and there’s a sense of control over the same ol’ cycle because it’s familiar and safer than the unknown, even when the unknown leads to one’s spiritual, intrinsic evolution. The impression of being in control of the predictability of life when stuck in old patterns and cycles is only a guarded illusion.
Peace is the ultimate gift from Freedom- when you free yourself from excessive worrying, your hurtful past, the expectations of others’, and resentments- you will experience peace and utmost connection to your Essence. Like the metaphor of lamps and scarves- once you remove the layers of scarves (burden, pain and hurt) allowing you to get full visibility of light coming from the lamp (your intrinsic light/Essence) you will shine without limitations. It is easy to allow life to be dictated by the wants and needs of others. The more you have conscious awareness of your Essence- the more you know who you are, the more you live in accordance to your true identity, the clearer and more stable your perceptions and reality become, and the less you are misguided by the things that go against your blueprint, your cosmos. Only you have the power to make your own choices. Only you create your peace and happiness by choosing freedom.
I remember hearing this sometime ago. If no one can take away your pain, why allow anyone to take away your happiness?