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Attachment & Trauma

When we think about attachment- we rewind the tape in our minds and explore how we related to our caregivers growing up. We reflect on how we were treated, what we saw, what felt good and what felt hurtful or uncomfortable. We remember, or don’t remember, closeness with our caregivers. We reflect on the messages we heard growing up that have become our own internalized messages. We consider our attachment styles—Secure? Anxious-Ambivalent? Dismissive/Avoidant? Fearful-Avoidant?

Our secure and insecure attachment styles are formed during our younger years. Ruptures affect how we relate to others in relationship and how we also see and connect with ourselves. It affects how we run away from others (or ourselves), how we are over-reliant or enable self-sabotaging in ourselves and others, how we feel stuck or fearful in speaking up for ourselves or being fully seen out of fear of being rejected or being negatively perceived. We fear being misunderstood. We fear deep connections with others and vulnerability. We fear what we also deeply wish for because we don’t know what it feels like to have it—and we don’t know who we are in relation to it.

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